Love at Work: Statistics on Work Romance
According to a 2015 Google survey, 18% of couples are created in a work environment. This percentage exceeds the percentage of social networks which makes indeed the best matchmaker in the world. However, how does this happen? And, more importantly, how do these relationships end?
This is what we discovered in a study of 1,000 people:
The positive side (stories)
“We had several chance encounters. We were young and working together at one of those summer jobs. My job suddenly got more fun when we started dating.”
“My “work romance” and I worked in two different offices in different parts of the world. We spoke via email a couple of times, and then we met by accident on a company business trip. We immediately like each other and start a long-distance secret relationship. With the help of his boss, he transferred to my office and traveled hundreds of miles to be with me. Now we are married and we both decided to leave our company to start a business together.”
“Only once did I get involved with a co-worker, and it was also the only time I slept with someone I didn’t have a relationship with. I was single, and I just wanted to have a little fun, but I ended up marrying my uncle… And now he’s the love of my life.”
The downside…(stories)
“I had an affair with a co-worker many years ago. We were both married to other people and we used to see each other on various business trips for several years. Eventually, the others took notice. I ended up getting fired (they said for another reason, but I never believed them) and our marriages fell apart.”
“The only time I dated a coworker was a complete disaster that I don’t want to remember.”
“I slept with a colleague at an office party. I thought it was just a one-night stand, but he started to think about future possibilities. I felt uncomfortable but decided to take a chance, and we ended up dating for 8 months. That was the vilest and toxic relationship I have ever had. I would have cut it before, but I was afraid that later I would want to do weird things to get fired.”
And there is the ugly thing
In my experience, sleeping with a co-worker can only end in two ways: Either you have the best sex in the world or your boss ends up catching them while you are lying on a desk with a guy on top and trying to explain that yes, those sales reports will be ready the next day.
Some hard facts:
89% of workers have felt, in sometimes attracted by a colleague.
There’s nothing weird about this, is there? First of all, proximity is the most important factor when falling in love with someone. Also, imagine being surrounded by people of the same age, who share your professional interests, live in the same area, and come from a context similar to yours… That is the reality of most offices. So it is practically impossible not to run into someone you like.
But… He’s your colleague. Yes, they have many things in common, yes, you like the way he dresses and, yes, that joke he told at the Christmas party made you laugh. But you work with this person. You would never seriously consider asking her out.
Would you?
It turns out that 78% of workers have at some point considered dating a colleague or co-worker. And 58% eventually decided to take the big step.
People of older generations are more likely to date co-workers. 64% of Gen X and Baby Boomers have been involved with colleagues, compared to just 53% of Gen Z and millennials.
Although it seems contradictory, the truth is that it makes sense: the longer you live, the more chances you have of being part of a romantic office story.
Another interesting fact is that the people who work in smaller companies are more prone to the idea of dating a colleague. Overall:
- 26% of people who work in companies with between 1 and 10 employees said it was a good idea to go out with a co-worker
- 40% of people in companies with between 11 and 50 employees think the same
- 38% in companies with between 51 and 200 employees
- 23% in companies with between 201 and 500 employees
- 21% in companies with between 501 and 1000 employees
- And 11% in companies with more than 1000 employees
It seems that companies with between 11 and 50 employees have a weakness for love, right?
In few words: these types of companies have a sufficiently informal atmosphere and a lot of interaction between departments that facilitate the meeting between employees of different teams and, at the same time, they are companies large enough to give workers a sense of privacy.
I hypothesize that in larger companies, the rules of corporations and policies tend to be stricter, possibly discouraging potential partners. Also, the structures and hierarchies are much more stable. You are less likely to have to work with other teams and meet people from other departments.
What about companies with between 1 and 10 employees? It’s obvious: it would be as uncomfortable as dating your brother (plus everyone would know immediately).
And since we are on the subject:
75% of the employees who dated a colleague tried to keep their relationship a secret within the office.
However, the efforts did not help. In 82% of the cases, the others soon found out about the romance.
Paradoxically, in large organizations, it is more difficult to hide a relationship between colleagues. Co-workers in companies of more than 51 people discovered office romances 84% of the time. Whereas, in companies with between 1 and 5 employees, they were only discovered 76% of the time.
Why? It may be because in the larger companies more people can catch you red-handed, or because the secret partners of the smaller companies try harder to hide their romance.
Bosses, subordinates, colleagues… Who is dating whom?
Among the people who have dated coworkers :
- 57% dated someone of the same level
- 24% dated a subordinate
- 11% dated their boss
- 8% dated someone from a higher position, but not a direct boss
62% of older generations (Baby Boomers and Gen Xers) would date their peers, while only 52% of Millennials and Gen Z would do the same.
Men are more likely than women to date a subordinate or someone in a lower position: 27% of male respondents admitted this, while only 18% of women claimed to have had an affair with someone in a subordinate position.
However, both men (11%) and women (12%) agreed that they would not like to go out with their direct bosses.
Respondents women are more likely to date managers and leaders of other teams more often than men. 14% of women reported dating someone of a higher rank, but not their bosses, compared to only 5% of men.
Still, the vast majority of romantic relationships in offices occur between colleagues. However, it is not surprising. The concept of “sleeping with the boss”, especially during the wave of global feminist movements, becomes much more complicated in legal terms and according to company policies.
Also, in another of our surveys. We found that the majority of people who had sexual relationships with their bosses were motivated by universal passions, not for reasons related to the work situation:
- 66% said they were sexually attracted to their supervisor or supervisor
- 52% just wanted to have a little fun
- 12% did consciously seek a raise or bonus
How serious are office romances?
“Dating” with a co-worker is a very vague term. So we decided to find out what the true nature of workers’ romantic and sexual interactions is. See what we found:
- 33% of the time, the result is a long-term relationship
- 31% of the time, it’s just “dating”
- 21% of the time they have semi-regular sex
- 14% of the time they end up with a one-night stand
In this case, we did not discover significant differences between generations, size of companies, or industries.
The only disparity occurred between men and women:
- 72% of women said they dated someone from their office for a long time or developed a formal relationship
- Only 59% of men said they saw each other in a similar situation
When it comes to the impact that a romantic relationship has on the employment relationship of the two people involved:
- Nothing changed for 54% of respondents
- The employment relationship improved for 28% of respondents
- The employment relationship worsened for 18% of respondents
More women (25%) than men (13%) said their romance hurt their employment relationship with their partner. This may be related to the general perception of office romances: according to a 2009 study, negative perceptions of relationships between coworkers usually focus on women.
Things are getting interesting…
We focus our last round of questions exclusively on scrolls.
Among those surveyed who only slept with their co-workers:
- 35% did so outside the work
- 26% did it in the office
- 21% during a work party
- 13% on a business trip
- 5% during a company event
Men reported fooling around more than women during business trips (15% vs 9% respectively), while women were more likely to sleep with someone outside any workspace (42% of women vs 31% of men).
More men (46%) than women (37%) cheated on their partners with coworkers. Interestingly, there was no difference between the “infidels” of different generations. It seems that some things have nothing to do with age.
Have you heard of you-know-who?
We also wanted to find out how people would react to finding out that there were sexual partners in the workplace:
- 35% of the participants would gossip with other co-workers
- 21% would report the situation to the human resources department or administration
Younger generations, which include Millennials and Gen Z members are more likely than Baby Boomers and Gen Xers to tell their colleagues about an office affair (36% vs. 31%).
Similarly, 24% of young employees would share this information with the HR department or a supervisor, compared to only 14% of older generations.
Likewise, more men (23%) than women (16%) would tell a boss or someone in human resources about a new office partner.
Finally, we asked our respondents to imagine the following scenario:
Your coworker likes someone else in the office. They ask for your advice on whether they should ask this person out on a date. What would you answer?
- 42% of respondents would refrain from giving advice.
- 36% would encourage their coworker.
- 22% would discourage the coworker.
The only demographic difference was that people 39 and older would refrain from giving an opinion, unlike people 38 and younger (47% vs 37% respectively).
What would you do?
Let’s say you just found out about an office romance. Would you confront people? Would you reprimand them? Or maybe you would congratulate them? Would you gossip about it with your best friend? Or would you rather keep quiet?
Finally, if you liked someone in your office, would you cheer up or let it pass?
Methodology and Limitations
For this study, we collected responses from 966 respondents who responded through the survey tool. Amazon Mechanical Turk. The interviewees consisted of 59% men and 41% women. 9% were 24 years old or younger, 52% were between 25 and 38 years old, 27% were between 39 and 58 years old, and 12% were 59 years old or older.
The study aimed to find out whether the participants had a romantic relationship with their colleagues and what was the nature of this relationship, as well as to discover the general perception of dating a co-worker. Respondents answered 18 closed questions, 1 scale question, and 1 open question about their history of romantic and sexual relationships in the office.
To ensure that participants answered the survey seriously, they were asked to identify and correctly answer two questions to verify their levels of care.
Some questions and answers have been paraphrased or condensed for clarity and readability for our readers. In some cases, the percentages presented do not add up to 100%; This may be for rounding purposes or because questions such as “none” or “I don’t know” were not present.
As the experience is subjective, we understand that some participants and Their responses may have been affected by temporality, attribution, exaggeration, lack of response, or biases. Due to the genders and ages covered in our sample, the study may be generalized to the entire population.
